For those who’ve visited in the recent past, you may have read my two posts where I likened the process of creating a blog to shuffling boxes around in a giant empty warehouse and making space for all my readers. For any who missed it you can see them here:
Six months – could it really already be the long since it all began?
Six months of trial and growth, changes and surprises. I just thought I’d take this moment to reflect on where I find myself today.
Lonely, I suppose works. It feels a bit empty in my warehouse and most days, the coffee cups are untouched, the chairs unused. Still, I appreciate each of you who’ve visited, each precious comment on both this site and my other, letters to rosa.
A dear friend and confidante stepped away from her blog a few weeks past and it just hasn’t been the same without her. I still keep T’resa’s widget on my side bar. I still keep hoping she’ll come back. Now another is facing major life changes and well… she’s assured me that we’ll keep in touch.
I find a flicker of hope with each new blogger that sweeps in and hits my “follow” button. Then an arctic blast snuffs that flicker out when they never return. I keep writing, posting and hoping.
Last night I hit one of those empty chairs and looked around to make an assessment of all the time and energy it takes to maintain these two blogs. I weighed the pros and cons of continuing. I know I’ve become a better writer for blogging and that I’ve developed and grown. I’ve made some dear friends, and watched them simply walk away. Perhaps, being a newbie, I trusted a bit too much.
It’s all make-believe, after all. This isn’t real- it’s a cyber world.
I suppose there’s no way for you all to know how hard it’s been for me to reach out, to leave a comment and hope you’ll take it the right way. I am a hermit in the truest sense. It takes a lot to get this ol’ gal down this mountain road – just ask my real life friends. They all know, they’ll see Sue again come Spring.
I’ve read your posts. I comment on them frequently. It just feels like no one’s settled in here. I can’t predict who’ll visit and who will simply ignore that new post notification.
When I finally fell asleep last night – and yes, it was quite late, I felt ready to pull the plug on this echoey warehouse. I had asked myself – was this the best use of my time? It takes a few hours to edit and put together a post, read and comment on other’s – checking in daily and responding. Am I ready to return to my hermited space and launch into my writing without all these distractions?
Perhaps, but then my two dogs go and do something so damn cute and I just have to share…
ah, well, I guess I’m still debating.