Drive-by likers and weird spam comments…

Ah, the joys of wordpress. I’ve learned a lot in the 5 months since I began blogging. Some things I’ve picked up quick (like always use the spell check before hitting publish), other things took a while to understand.

Like, how could I have 5 “likes” and no views?

Don’t ja just love that little page that loads partial posts with a convenient “like” button on the top right-hand side?

So THAT’s how they do that!

When I’ve let curiosity get the better of me and I check out a new “likers” site, I always find they’re the bloggers with ten thousand followers and all their comments read something like this:

“Thanks so much __________ (insert drive-by liker’s name) for ‘liking’ my post. I couldn’t wait to check out your blog…”

Don’t they know that now the drive-by has 1) a view and 2) a comment when they have given you neither?

No, no, don’t go there….

And now to the second part of this silly little post.

The weird spam comments wordpress so conveniently filters out.

Most of you have them – they usually go something like this:

“Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is is
missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post,
also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO
optimization. On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update:
Panda. No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the
key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. So
what is good On-Page SEO?First your keyword must appear in the title.Then it
must appear in the URL.You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it
has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent
Semantic Indexing). Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your
article.Your Keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last
sentence of the page. You should have relevant usage of Bold and italics of
your keyword.There should be one internal link to a page on your blog and you…”

Has anyone ever checked this out? I’m afraid to…

Then you get the sex sites. Do you get the sex sites? You know, when you hover over their Gravatar and your mouse blushes? The last visitor I got said:

“I like the content of your post. If you keep writing so well, I will come back and follow this blog.”

Needless to say, I will no long write so well…

But my favorite comments are the ones that’ve obviously gone through some translation program and something’s gone terribly wrong. Like this little beauty:

“loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an edginess over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again since exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this hike.”

I’m so glad my little blog catches the attention of drive-by likers. That they can’t help but press that darned button to show how much what I’ve taken two hours to craft means to them. I love all the comments, even those I’m forced to “delete permanently.”

I will leave you with one final comment from my consistent spam buddy. I’ve no idea what this person means, ever, but it sure does make my day when I get at least one comment…

“this is a great subject to discuss, i am glad you mentioned it so we can solve our doubts.”

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 7 Comments

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7 thoughts on “Drive-by likers and weird spam comments…

  1. free penny press

    I only recently found out what the whole “Stats” page was about.. I know, 6 months in blogging and I am a slow learner.. The spam comments I get are so far out there they are laughable.. i get alot like yours.. One day I’ll have this all figured out.. maybe 🙂

  2. …..zooom…zooom…honk, honk. I laughed at drive-by, again. 🙂

    • I’ve got something here, haven’t I? Maybe it’ll go viral and then everyone will be saying that! Then again, maybe NOT.

  3. great post -same prob so annoying! see youve got the dear old robbgibbs! he liked mine and it links to wieght loss sight! havent managed to sort yet but so will! take care as my facebook and twitter got hacked and could be this creep! I changed all my passwords and now do so regularly! glad it’s not just me! xxxxxxxxx

  4. I get those same comments and they scare me.Sue this is so much fun reading,know that you are taking my mind off of things that have been bothering me.thanks

    • I try to laugh at them – some of those comments are really, really strange! so glad wordpress screens them out! Nice to you you, Liz – hope you and your lovely family are well and having a wonderful Christmas. My love to you-

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